Saturday, December 20, 2008

Hello.

I have made a decision to return to the blog world. This decision had several factors; namely, I need to become famous so that I can make some money. That said, you (future Juliet- the only person who will ever read this) should feel free to help in the quest. Perhaps we can start by you asking that well-connected uncle by marriage to drop my name over a meal of chip butties and warm beer to JK Rowling.

For now, I give you a list.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Have Abandoned My Blog:

10. Eating
9. Sleeping
8. Facebook
7. Tesla
6-1. Facebook




Somethings are better left unsaid...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I think I have a problem...

as if we didn't know that already! Laugh it up, you meanos. But seriously, lately I have been feeling as though my friends and I are getting really old really quickly. I mean, I've already discussed here how I think that I've passed my prime (which occurred at the ripe, longed for years of 17 and 18), but it's becoming more and more evident every day. So, recently I've been catching onto seemingly innocent things that I do that, as I delve more and more into psychology and pretty much become an expert on Freudian theories, I'm beginning to think might be a little repressive, an intsy bit denial, or at least a tad distorted/ delusional projection with a heaping side order of suppression. ( Please send academic praises and awards to my home address.)

First off, no matter how old I or they get, I take the names of my one-syllable named friends and add a y for a younger, more cutesy sounding name. Some examples: Timmy, Matty, Frankie (here the "ie" takes place of the "y" but carries the same suffix sound), etc. Also, and this really tickles someone's fancy (I bet), I get mixed up about exactly what year we are currently existing in. Today I got back the THIRD paper in about 3 months where my professor circled the year "2006" at the top of the page. Was 2006 a really good year or something, you ask? Who knows, I just completely forget sometimes what year it is so I take an educated guess. Also, today I was wikipediaing someone (as per usual) and when I saw their DOB I did the math in my head to figure out how old this makes them when it struck me!! For the first time, I realized then when I do date of birth calculations in my head, I stop adding at the year 2005! For who knows how long now I have been subtracting years off of people's lives! This particular man, age 37, had been 34 for me for the past three years! You can only imagine the impact this has had on my dating life in the past hour since I've made this life-altering realization. Some of my most eligible celebrity bachelors (or happily married men), under new calculations have been pushed into higher age brackets! Dermot Mulroney- yeah, not 39! He's in his forties. I mean, thats not going to stop me from pursuing him or anything, I just want you all to understand what sort of things I'm working with here.

So the point of all of this, I guess, is that I'm a little off my rocker as of late, but I blame it on having all this spare time to reflect on my lost life. Man, growing old is so strange and I wish everyone would just freeze frame... except some people...and some people can change their wardrobes...

I think from now on, every birthday I have will be my 2oth. Maybe I shouldn't have said that..

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

In case you've been concerned about me..

Parents, loved ones, people who read this and think they fall under the category of my "loved ones," friends in close and distant places, friends I want to be further away from, and the general blogatory creepers (myself definitely not excluded),

In case you have been concerned about my living situation here in this beautiful heap of dung known as Worcester, Massachusetts, here is an email I received today from the dean of students at Clark that should help put some of your worries at bay:


I have been informed that the water issue from earlier today is now fine. The brown rust that came through has gone away and it's safe to drink the water again.
Denise Darrigrand
Denise M. Darrigrand
Dean of Students
Clark University

Well, it is nice that I just now received that email after being at classes all day, regretting not noticing the earlier poison-death water email that apparently came through. Whats perhaps even more disconcerting than receiving an email like this is receiving an email like this only after you have successfully completed teeth brushing, face washing, and several water-drinking excursions. Now that it's brought to my attention, this morning my toothpaste did taste strangely like old pennies. Besides this, apparently the water I had been utilizing/consuming was apparently very noticeably discolored which only encourages me to get more sleep at night so as to avoid future confusion between normally clear and infectious brown liquids. Also, related to not getting enough sleep- the other night(morning?) I reached new lows (even for me!) when... I.... .... ..


slept-facebook-checked! I know! It's embarrassing and I don't know how it happened, but apparently I read TWO messages that I thought were just dreams but later (maybe 15 hours later) realized that they in fact were reality and that I just didn't consciously sign myself onto facebook. How embarrassing! I'd rather be that friend of mine that once peed under the Christmas tree while dreaming she was in the bathroom than be the girl who checks facebook in her sleep. Something has got to be done.


On an unrelated note, I hope everyone had a lovely Purim or Easter or just regular Sunday. I received my lovely Easter basket in the mail and am now enjoying some delicious gummy bears. I almost exclusively like the red and clear ones, which I like to eat back to back, together, only after I have chewed/bit/gnawed off their ears, eyes, faces, arms and legs.

WAIT! I just realized that sometimes I get the clear and the yellowish/dirty one's mixed up! No WONDER the Worcester dirty pond water fooled me...

Friday, March 21, 2008

NOT AGAIN!!!

You guys will never believe what just happened to me... well, maybe you will because I'm writing about it and it's really not that insane and as far as I'm aware I haven't given most of you reason not to trust me... but STILL!

So, here I am, minding my own business, skipping down the path to the UC to collect my EASTER PACKAGE (ahem. sorry) and who do I run into again but Fritz, one of my favorite campus walked K-9's and his seemingly European human companion. Quickly thinking back to my last encounter with this pair, I was very proud of myself when I remembered to act cool so like the Who I won't be fooled again. (I included that lyric despite the grammatic error of using the wrong verb tenses and switching presences.) Fritz runs over to me, as per usual, and I proceed to pet him. But THIS TIME when his owner approached me, I quickly and confidently said, "oh! he's so cute, what's his name?" Good one, Juliet. Way to be composed, cool, and not a pet-name memorizing freak at all. To which Fritz's owner hesitantly (perhaps worriedly) replies, "Fritz... but I thought you knew that, haven't we met before?" FOILED! I didn't know what to say!! I was completely caught of guard and since acting cool is something new for me, I didn't know how to cool my way out of this!!

Completely mortified, I said the most embarrassing thing to ever leave my mouth. " [giggle] yeah.. G2G!!!" AHH!! I was so nervous that I LITERALLY said "G- 2- G." I mean, yeah, I'm weird sometimes, but I've never been that girl! That girl that replaces her emoticons with faces like these ^-^, incessantly types lol after every online statement, and adds colons to demonstrate what action they are performing while communicating over instant messenger (::shakes head in shame::). To take it one step further and actually proclaim an internet/texting shortcut outloud to a man who already thinks I should be institutionalized!? It was so horrible that I just left my research meeting to come downstairs and type this up in the computer lab really quick.

I just hope that Fritz is still allowed to hang out with me. Next time, I WILL be prepared to play it cool and Fritz's owner will be impressed. Mark my words, but for now- g2g.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Return of the King(s)

Tomorrow night at 11 marks the return of Broad Topics to all of your neglected eardrums!!

In honor of spring break with it's spirit of social debauchery, nell and i have decided that this week's theme will be (dun da da dooooo!!) CRIME!!

That's right all of you closet psychopaths and sinners- this is the show for YOU! Feel free to email in any song requests as well as some crimes that you have committed! (Please nothing that can actually have you committed- cough ashley alexandra dupre) and don't forget to call-in as per usual. Let's start a radio rebellion!

This is one comeback you won't wanna miss! TUNE IN!

rocu_broadtopics@yahoo.com

--- www.clarku.edu/students/rocu

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

More Excuses

In the next few days I have to:

-storyboard, shoot, log and capture, and edit a 4 minute film
-comprise a 12 source annotated bibliography for a study I have not yet designed
-design study
-learn and then study logic for a test
-figure out my summer plans included location, internships, jobs, money
-fit in cuddle time with bleeks

BUT I WILL BLOG